Reports the Sydney Morning Herald:

A drunken Croatian exhibitionist nearly lost his genitals when the owner’s dog bit him.

The man, 36, was visibly intoxicated when he stopped in front of a woman’s house. When he opened his fly and put his private parts inside the fence, her dog came from the other side and bit him.

The terrified man somehow managed to separate his genitals from the dog, but suffered serious injuries. When he turned himself in to the police, they took him to hospital, where he was treated and released.

The man will be fined for “insulting moral feelings of the citizens” and “violating public order”.



Clearly the dog was not a vegetarian, and this was simply a case of mistaken identity: the dog sadly mistook Wiener for Schnitzel.

We must also note that the words, “Beware of the Dog”, now have taken on new meaning and we caution all flashers to be on the lookout for such signs, otherwise they may soon have nothing to flash with.

And we close with a final warning to all exhibitionists: do not flash dogs! (They have poor eyesight, anyway.)